Tell us what you know about the fashion business and why you chose not to pursue it as your major.
Tell us why “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” is your favourite book.
Tell us about Singapore while assuming your readers know know nothing at all about the city.
Tell us what you know about Monash University.
Tell us about your time at Diponegoro University.
Tell us about your time at Yogyakarta State University.
Tell us about the differences between Bali and Surabaya.
Tell us about your hobby: collecting things
Tell us more about your hopes and plans for your fresh start in Yogyakarta.
Tell us about the travel plans you had for this year that were cancelled because of the Coronavirus pandemic.
Tell us all about genetics and viruses.
Tell us about one of highs and one of the lows during your time in Australia.
Tell us, in as much detail as you can remember, about the five-minute walk to your school every day.
Tell us what you would spend one day doing in Yogyakarta with a visitor who was new to the city.
Tell us about a few of your greatest moments as a foodie.
Tell us more of what you know about Germany.
Tell us about each of your five cats.
Tell us what your three all time favourite podcasts currently are.
Tell us what your three all time favourite movies are.
Tell us about the Myers-Briggs Type Personality Indicator.
Tell us what your impression of studying accounting is so far this semester.
Tell us your what your lifeskills advice is to fellow teenagers who have to move around as much as you did prior to coming to FEB.
Tell us about your school’s simulation of the United Nations (HSMUN).
Tell us why “Aristotle and Dante Discovers the Secrets of the Universe” is your favourite book.
ReplyDeleteI’m fuzzled at how, even after re-reading this book for maybe about fifty different times, I find more things to love about this book everyday. Where do I even start? First of all, of course I need to talk about how this book made me feel. I think I cried about every thirty pages into this book. As a matter of fact, I cried so much my maid came over and asked if I had been fighting with my sister. It’s not even the predictable tragedy like a character dying, lovers in the middle of a war, or even an injured dog, no. It’s just how real everything is. This book feels alive to me, like I had been transported into the main character’s (Aristotle’s) shoes and had been going through what he had been going through. Every character in it felt real, even the most background ones had understandable motivation and eventually accumulate into influencing the main characters’ decisions. I think just for the sole reason that the author was able to make me empathize for each and every character should be enough to make this book a great one, but no, this book had to transcend that and deliver perfect narration as well. Just to clarify; the author, Benjamin Alire Saenz, was, if my memory serves me right, a poet before he had started writing novels. I suppose that might be one of the reasons why this book is so beautifully written - as if an angel had breathed onto each and every page and written it in pure gold. The narration style is so simple and succint, yet it manages to get every point and emotion across so well. In fact it’s so simple the book is only 359 pages long and I was able to finish it in one sitting. The story itself was nothing grandeur actually. It told of an average life of an average teenage Mexican boy. Oh yeah, that’s another reason I love this book; the simplicity of it all. It is the exact epitome of quality over quantity. Nothing special happens to Aristotle. He was not the Chosen One, he did not find a magic door to a different universe, nor was he ever put into a setting following a grand scheme of events, he was just... Living. Exploring what it meant to be a human, thinking about his relationships with his family and his newfound friend, Dante, as well as looking in into his first steps nearing adulthood. Defining, critiquing, and eventually finding love. The story’s closeness to reality and its relatibility, I think, is what managed to hook itself deep in mine and everyone’s hearts (because of course I should mention that the cover of the book itself has won four different prestigious awards).
This a a great piece of writing with passion and momentum. You just need to use more commas to help your readers with all the sub-clauses that you slip into so many of the sentences.
DeleteFavourite part: “I suppose that might be one of the reasons why this book is so beautifully written - as if an angel had breathed onto each and every page and written it in pure gold.” What a beautiful thing to say.
Matter arising: “In fact, it’s so simple; the book is only 359 pages long and I was able to finish it in one sitting.” (Note my minor edits.) Wow!
Vocabulary tip: “I find more things to love about this book everyday”. The word “everyday” is an adjective and is used like this: “Heavy rain is an everyday occurrence during the wet season” (what KIND of occurance is it? An “everyday” one… = adjective!). “In the wet season it rains every day” (“every” is a determiner and “day” is the noun).
Grammar tip: “The story’s closeness to reality and its relatibility, I think, is what managed to hook itself deep in mine and everyone’s hearts”. It should be “are” rather than “is” because the noun phrase subject is plural: “[1]The story’s closeness to reality and [2] its relatibility”.
Tell us about your hobby: collecting things
ReplyDeleteMy hobby shifts from time to time. Music used to be my hobby, I was pretty proficient at violin and piano but then highschool started and I dont have enough time to practice anymore. During my first year of highschool, I came across a group of people who has passion for sneakers and at first I was not interested in it at all. The turning point was when Kanye West released his collection with Adidas, the sneaker itself was super limited so the group that I referred earlier bought around 10 pairs of that sneakers for $300 each and sold them at $800, at that time I thought “This is dumb” but I became more interested in it, mainly because of the profit that they made. So I began my research on this sneaker culture thing and started to collect some GR (general release) sneakers. My collecting hobby truly started when Kanye released version 2 of his collaboration with Adidas,I bought 2 pairs of that sneakers, one for personal use and I resold the other one in the after market for about $900 . After that point, I bought almost all jordan releases either online or offline and somehow I got noticed by someone from JSD (Jakarta Sneaker Day) and they sent me and my friends VVIP Invitation to JSD Event in february of 2019, it was truly shocking that me and my friends were recognized as a collector from someone at JSD, the biggest sneaker event in Indonesia. In my final year of highschool, I realized that not only do I love collecting sneakers but I also love making money from reselling them, so I created an online shop on Instagram with a couple of my friends, the store is called Kulture.lab, the collection that is posted there is personally curated by me and my friends so that only certain item could get posted. The first 2 months of opening was a huge success, business was booming, mainly because a notable influencer, Dr Tirta Helped us by promoting our store. Through this small business, I’ve met people whom I would never met if I didn’t had the guts to start this business in the first place. I handled many VIP clients myself and even some of those VIP’s are goverment officials, who would’ve thought that 3 ordinary highschool students would be able to pull this off. I am truly grateful and blessed that not only could I collect sneakers as my hobby but it also acts as a side passive income for me and my friends and I hope in the next 2 or 3 years we can further grow and branch out to other segments in the market.
Favourite part: This is an impressive and intriguing account of your activity and a real eye-opener for me.
DeleteMatter arising: “The group that I referred earlier bought around 10 pairs of that sneakers for $300 each and sold them at $800, at that time I thought “This is dumb” but I became more interested in it, mainly because of the profit that they made.” Did this group refer to what they were doing as a “hobby”?
Vocabulary tip: “the sneaker itself was super limited”. There’s a word missing here: “edition”. Now, it’s a countable noun so you need to insert an indefinite article – “a” – as well. Like this: “the sneaker itself was a super limited edition”.
Grammar tip: “Through this small business, I’ve met people whom I would never met if I didn’t had the guts to start this business in the first place.” Compare my version to yours: Through this small business, I’ve met people whom I would never have met if I hadn’t had the guts to start it in the first place.” Take a look at the edits I made and try to figure out what my reason for each one was.
Tell us more about genetics and viruses.
ReplyDeleteI was in 9th grade when I first learned about HIV and AIDS. HIV is a virus that causes AIDS. It has existed for quite some time now and there’s still no cure to it. It is really ironic because the gene sequence of a virus nothing compared to the gene sequence of a human and we still can’t find a way to tackle it. This encounter led me to my fascination with genes and viruses. They are so small yet so unknown and they are not living creatures but they can be so dangerous. Dangerous. That is what they are widely known for, especially in a time like this where everyone is deeply burdened by a pandemic created by a novel type of corona virus. However, it should be noted that viruses can also be helpful and valuable. I find it very interesting how some viruses can kill bacteria and how the ‘dreadful’ Zika virus is a potential cure for brain cancer.
Besides viruses, I am also mesmerised with how the human genetics work. There are various types of illness and disabilities that are caused by genetic abnormality. Most genetic abnormality are caused by mutation and what makes it interesting is because mutations occur randomly. Doctors or scientist can predict how likely a mutation could occur but in the end, it is only a prediction and it may or may not occur. This phenomenon triggers my inquisitive trait because it makes me want to know and learn about it further.
Favourite part: “It is really ironic because the gene sequence of a virus nothing compared to the gene sequence of a human and we still can’t find a way to tackle it.” An informative and thought-provoking sentence offered to the reader in exactly the right place in your piece.
DeleteMatter arising: One wonders if this is not a field of research that you would be suited to.
Vocabulary tip: [1] “It has existed for quite some time now and there’s still no cure to it.” The preposition is “for” and not “to”. [2] “Besides viruses, I am also mesmerised with how the human genetics work.” The preposition “by” is preferrable to “with”. Note: “mesmerised” is UK spelling; is that deliberate?
Grammar tip: “Most genetic abnormality are caused by mutation and what makes it interesting is because mutations occur randomly.” The words “abnormality and mutation” both need to be plural in this sentnece and the word “because” is not necessary. Like this: “Most genetic abnormalities are caused by mutations and what makes this interesting is these mutations occur randomly.”
Tell us about Singapore while assuming your readers know know nothing at all about the city.
ReplyDeleteI have lived in Singapore for more than a decade. Hence, here is my perspective of the country that used to call my home.
Singapore is in South-eastern Asia, between Malaysia and Indonesia. Singapore, also known as Singapura, means “lion city”. The main language that is used in Singapore is English. In school, students are also taught “Mother Tongue Language” as a subject. The students will get into their classes according to their race; if they are Chinese, they will take Mandarin; if they are Malay, they will take Bahasa Melayu; and if they are Indians, they will take Tamil. There is also a special version of English that we use, it is called Singlish. It is a language that is born out of multiracial integration.
Like Indonesia, the weather we have is often sunny with a chance of rain. However, the rain never lasts more than 30 minutes. Despite the relatively high temperature, Singapore provides many amenities with air-conditioner. In addition to that, all transportation has an air conditioner.
Due to the size of the country, Singapore does not own many natural resources. However, this does not stop the creativity of its government. One of the main sources of income for the country comes from tourism. The country has provided many tourist attractions such as Garden’s By the Bay, Sentosa, Universal Studios, etc. Despite its lack of natural resources, Singapore is still known as a green city. The government has educated the residents on how they should take care of the environment. Not only that, Singapore is very strict with their laws and regulations. That is why it is relatively safe in Singapore. It has a low petty crime rate and police will come under 10 minutes after they are contacted. The streets are also safe and well lit.
Favourite part: I liked the part about what languages are taught in schools. Did you attend the Bahasa Melayu classes?
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder if you will live there again.
Vocabulary tip: “Despite the relatively high temperature, Singapore provides many amenities with air-conditioner.” You need to write “air-conditioners” or, even better, “air-conditioning”.
Grammar tip: “I have lived in Singapore for more than a decade.” This OK but it is maybe preferrable to write it with the simple past tense because you now live in Yogyakarta. Like this: “I lived in Singapore for more than a decade.” Meanwhile, you could say this: “I have lived in Yogyakarta for a year.”
Tell us about your school’s club related to the United Nations (HSMUN).
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in Highschool I was one of the committee for the Model United Nation in my school. I was a part of the Afternoon events, it was one of the event scheduled in the second day where all the delegates could chill out, eat some food and hear some live music. My Job was to make that event as cool as possible since its the only time those delegates could relax after a long day of doing the UN simulation. Me and my team had to follow a certain theme that was pre-determined by the school then we had to concept the event; how the stage was gonna be, what rooms are going to be used, who's the performing band, what food was gonna be served and some other things. The trickiest part of the job is figuring out the details like how the delegates should enter the event area, when the food is gonna brought in, when the band could do a sound check and perform and some other minor details but the hardest part of the job is figuring out where the delegates could stored their belonginngs because there were about 300 delegates for us to to keep their belonging safe. That wasn't easy but at the end we figured out a way to solve it. It was an overall great experience to be a part of and I would do it again.
Don’t use words like “gonna” and “wanna”.
DeleteFavourite part: I like the details that you included in this explanation.
Matter arising: I don’t know what the difference is between “trickiest” and “hardest”!
Vocabulary tip: “Highschool” is two words – high school – and it is not capitalized unless it is part of the official name of the school and only if you are writing that name in full. Two other words in your piece that you should not capitalize: “Afternoon” and “Job”.
Grammar tip: “The trickiest part of the job is figuring out the details like how the delegates should enter the event area, when the food is gonna brought in, when the band could do a sound check and perform and some other minor details but the hardest part of the job is figuring out where the delegates could stored their belonginngs because there were about 300 delegates for us to to keep their belonging safe.” This sentence started well but then it went on too long.
Compare my version to yours (and consider the edits I made and try to figure out what my reason for each one was): “The trickiest part of the job was figuring out the details like how the delegates should enter the event area, when the food is going to be brought in, when the band could do a sound check and perform.” SENTENCE ENDS.
NEW ONE: “There were some other minor details but the hardest part of the job was figuring out where the delegates could store their belonginngs because there were about 300 of them and we had to keep their belonging safe.”
Tell us about your time at Diponegoro University.
ReplyDeleteThe story begins when I take the exam for the International Undergraduate Program at Gadjah Mada University, I got rejected there because of the second day exam, which contains the Focus Group Discussion and an Interview. After that, I become stress because I was afraid that I could not get accepted in any state university across Indonesia at that time, after that there is some news that stated Diponegoro University has opened the new class for the international program. without thinking anything, immediately I applied my application and paid the exam fee for about one million rupiah. The exam started about two months after my application has been approved. The exam consists of three parts, the first one is called the Diponegoro Scholiastic Test, the second one is some kind of TOEFL prediction, and the last one is the interview. By the time I was doing the exam, the coronavirus already spread across the continent. So the exam was changed into an online test in which we are supervised via online meeting by the examiner, but I get managed to continue into the second day. The interview was conducted two days after the announcement of the first day online test. Luckily, I managed to succeed in the Interview. In which the result guided me to be accepted at Diponegoro University, after that, I join my FEB group of Diponegoro University. Even I already managed to get some new friends from that group who has the same hobbies as me. I already spend a lot of time with them through the online meeting, playing games together, and do a task together. Then, the exam day of intake 3 IUP UGM came. I was so confused at that time, I was asking myself. What if I got rejected again? and What if I got accepted in UGM?. I already got the answer to the first question I was asked to myself, the answer is simple I just need to continue at Diponegoro University, even I already got friends there, so it does not matter to me to continue at Diponegoro University. When I got accepted into IUP FEB UGM, I have to make a hard choice. If I leave Diponegoro University now it would be a shame. Because I have to leave my new friends at Diponegoro University, and then I think I must be better in the UGM because since highschool my main objective is to get accepted in UGM, that objective is already gained. In the end, I choose UGM not just because it's my dream also because UGM is better than Diponegoro University.
Favourite part: “What if I got rejected again? and What if I got accepted in UGM?” These two questions set up the last third of your piece nicely.
DeleteMatter arising: Any regrets?
Grammar tip: “By the time I was doing the exam, the coronavirus already spread across the continent.” If you think about it, the expression “by the time” means you need to use the past perfect tense and not the past tense. Look at this: “By the time I was doing the exam, the coronavirus had already spread across the continent.”
Another grammar tip: “The story begins when I take the exam for the International Undergraduate Program at Gadjah Mada University, I (get) rejected there because of the second day exam, which contains the Focus Group Discussion and an Interview.” You are talking about something in the past here but you are using the present tense. In fact, this can be OK. It’s called ‘the historical present’… Let’s take a look:
“In linguistics and rhetoric, the historical present or historic present, also called dramatic present or narrative present, is the employment of the present tense when narrating past events.” (Wiki)
However, all around this sentence, you are using the past tense, so it doesn’t work. You have to use it constantly for it to work. Here is an example I found on the web:
“It is a bright summer day in 1947. My father, a fat, funny man with beautiful eyes and a subversive wit, is trying to decide which of his eight children he will take with him to the county fair. My mother, of course, will not go. She is knocked out from getting most of us ready: I hold my neck stiff against the pressure of her knuckles as she hastily completes the braiding and the beribboning of my hair.”
The use of the the historical present creates drama and immediacy but it should not be overused.
You probably should have written "(UNDIP)" after you wrote "Diponegoro University" the first time and then just used "UNDIP" each time after that.
DeleteTell us, in as much detail as you can remember, about the five-minute walk to your school every day.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, it is more than a five-minute walk because of some of these reasons. I’m going to divide the story into two parts. My going to school walk and going home walk. I hate walking to school because I always wake up late. Usually, I wake up at six and I have to be at school at half-past six. I use those less than 30 minutes time as efficiently as possible. During that walk, I usually meet some friends and we walk together. Every time we hear the school bell rang from a distance, we ran like hell and hope that we don’t receive punishments. I have a more interesting story related to my going home walk. It is different over the years. During my elementary school days, I got picked up by my driver and I walk recklessly while he carried my bag. As I entered year six, I got so embarrassed every time I got picked up so I decided to start to walk by myself. At middle school, I often ate with my friends first, after that, I went home. We usually ate Indomie or gorengan and just having casual talks. Sometimes if I went home earlier, I walked past my neighbor, who went to the same school, and we have a casual talk also. Finally, it was my high school year walk when I walk for five minutes. I often wake up at a quarter past six and I rarely ate breakfast. I ran to school as fast as I could and luckily I rarely get punished. Although high school is the best time to go home late, I often go home early because I eagerly want to have a nap, or I have an appointment with my friends to play basketball at half pas 4. So that’s my “five-minute walk” story, it’s not five minutes, but it is for sure a really fun experience.
Favourite part: “As I entered year six, I got so embarrassed every time I got picked up so I decided to start to walk by myself.” This is an interesting detail.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder why you didn’t ride a bike.
Vocabulary tip: “I hate walking to school because I always wake up late. Usually, I wake up at six and I have to be at school at half-past six. I use those less than 30 minutes time as efficiently as possible. During that walk, I usually meet some friends and we walk together. Every time we hear the school bell rang from a distance, we ran like hell and hope that we don’t receive punishments.” This is an example of using the “historical present” tense. See my comment responding to Audret’s writing above. You just lost your discipline near the end (because you must use it consistently) when you should have written Every time we hear the school bell RING from a distance, we RUN like hell and hope that we don’t receive punishments.”
Grammar tip 2: “I’m going to divide the story into two parts. My going to school walk and going home walk.” This is exactly the right situation in which to use a colon. The phrase “I’m going to divide the story into two parts” is a complete sentence and it kind of ‘sets up’ the information that follows. However, “My going to school walk and going home walk” is not a complete sentence (and you have used punctuation to suggest that it is). So, instead of a full stop after “parts”, you should use a colon. Look at this:
“A colon is nearly always preceded by a complete sentence; what follows the colon may or may not be a complete sentence, and it may be a mere list or even a single word. A colon is not normally followed by a capital letter in British usage, though American usage often prefers to use a capital.” From here: https://tinyurl.com/y5gz8b59
Tell us what your three all time favourite movies are
ReplyDeleteSo, I can consider myself as a movie geek. I love to watch movies, movies are my thing and all that jazz. So of course, I have movies that can be considered as my “favourites”. Now, I don’t want to be overly biased or anything, I think every movie has their own arts and stories to tell that other people enjoy. So, with that out of the way, here are my top three favourite movies. So, my first favourite movie is Princess Mononoke. Princess Mononoke is a movie that came out in 1997 made by Studio Ghibli. Studio Ghibli movies are perfect. They’re charming. They’re aesthetically pleasing. They can make you laugh and make you cry better than Disney movies. But I have to put Princess Mononoke as my favorite Ghibli movies because it’s filled with so many things. Great story with great message, stunning animation and memorable soundtrack. I first watched this movie when I was in the 5th grade and I wasn’t prepared for the slight gore that the movie has. My second favourite movie is Knives Out. I love a good mystery movie that doesn’t fall flat when the “grand reveal” takes place. Directed by Rian Johnson, this movie cleverly tackles with the audience’s brains. With charming characters, beautiful cinematography and intriguing plot, this movie is a must-watch. My final favourite movie is Mulan (1998). Mulan is the only Disney movie that can make me laugh and cry no matter what. With great soundtracks that make me hum everytime I watch it, amazing animation, great character development and nostalgia, this movie is one of my favourites.
Favourite part: “Studio Ghibli movies are perfect. They’re charming. They’re aesthetically pleasing. They can make you laugh and make you cry better than Disney movies.” I think the repetition of “they”/ “they’re” here works well.
DeleteMatter arising: Do you review movies that you don’t enjoy?
Vocabulary tip: “I have movies that can be considered as my favourites.” I suggest, after “consider”/“considered”, you use “to be” rather than “as”.
Grammar tip: “I think every movie has their own arts and stories to tell that other people enjoy.” Although the word “every” is “used to refer to all the individual members of a set without exception” it also means “each one” and is always followed by a singular noun. This makes the word “their” clumsy in your sentence; same goes for the plural form of “arts” and “stories”. Compare mone to yours: “I think every movie has its own art and story to tell that other people enjoy.”
Tell us about the travel plans you had for this year that were cancelled because of the Coronavirus pandemic.
ReplyDeleteTraveling has always been a part of my family and I’s agenda for the holidays. However, due to the Coronavirus pandemic, we had to cancel everything. At the beginning of the year, we had planned on going to Japan; particularly to Tokyo and the cities nearby. The reason why we chose Japan was because of its fascinating culture and delicious cuisines, and also because my brother and sister in law have never been there. We had imagined about our culinary adventures, explorations into the historical sites, as well as spending an entire day at Disney Land! I also wanted to visit my all-time favourite film studio; Ghibli. It produces the most captivating animation movies, and I would love to explore into the histories and the filmmaking processes. The last time I traveled to Japan was around 6 years ago, and I had gotten so excited to have the opportunity to be back. Yet, that excitement was sadly crushed.
Aside from Japan, we were also thinking of arranging a trip in around October to Europe; starting from the UK, the Netherlands, France, and Italy. I was particularly excited about visiting Italy because of its astonishing architecture and its food! Notice how I’ve mentioned something about food earlier for Japan? Yes, because culinary does play a major role in determining the success of a trip! The UK was also a destination that I was eagerly looking forward to visiting because it really is one of my favourite places in the world; I just love the hustle and bustle of London, but I also love the tranquility of Oxford in which I’d found peace every time I paid a visit. Furthermore, we were also planning on going to Edinburgh, which I’d heard from my former English teacher that it was one of the most exquisite cities in the world. Both trips were carefully planned and I was beyond ecstatic to go, however, little did I know that the Coronavirus pandemic had decided to barge in and ruin my plans.
Currently, I am merely hoping that the pandemic ends soon and everything goes back to normal so that I can travel again in the near future!
Favourite part: “The UK was also a destination that I was eagerly looking forward to visiting because it really is one of my favourite places in the world; I just love the hustle and bustle of London, but I also love the tranquility of Oxford in which I’d found peace every time I paid a visit.” I will take the credit for how good the UK is because I come from there. Thank you for your kind words.
DeleteMatter arising: Too many exclamation marks, maybe?
Vocabulary tip: “Yes, because culinary does play a major role in determining the success of a trip!” You must remember that “culinary” is an adjective and not a noun. Look at these: “cuisines do play a major role”, “food does play a major role”, “national dishes do play a major role”, and “local recipes do play a major role”, “culinary adventures do play a major role” and so on. See how I have filled that slot in your sentence with nouns.
Grammar tip: “I also love the tranquility of Oxford in which I’d found peace every time I paid a visit.” [1] The words “in which” presumably refer back to “the tranquility” which is OK, I suppose. However, it’s probably preferrable if you use “where” which refers to Oxford itself. Like this: “I also love the tranquility of Oxford where I’ve found peace every time I paid a visit.” Note that I have changed your past perfect “I’d” to the present perfect “I’ve” because your perspective is from the present day looking back rather than looking back from a specified point in the past. Look at this different scenario in which the past perfect works well: “I also used to love the tranquility of Oxford where, prior to those terrible events of 2018, I’d found peace every time I paid a visit.” Now, in that case, the past perfect makes sense.
tell us the difference between Bali and Surabaya.
ReplyDeleteHello and good evening everyone, hope you had a blast on the second week of college life. On this occasion, I’m trusted by Sir Adrian to tell you my view about the difference between Surabaya and Bali, and I’m sure that I can give you insights as I have lived in both city. To kick this off, let me tell you, though I’m kind of sure that you all have acknowledged that Bali is paradise! You may compare Bali to any city, island, or any area in this very big country of ours, but I then I would still say that Bali is the most beautiful of them all, as for the natural and cultural beauty that Bali has to offer. While Surabaya, basically the second largest city in the country, which have very interesting variety in their social classes, lifestyle, and culture that vary in different part of the city.
There are many things that differentiate Bali and Surabaya, and the most conspicuous difference is the living cost. Well, to explain this in a simple way, a person, consider this man a mid- class guy, not poor but not too royal either. He would spend Rp100.000 – Rp150.000 a day just to feed himself, while in Surabaya, he would spend only Rp50.000 – Rp100.000 a day. To be frank, Surabaya is also considered a city with high living cost, but if you compare it to Bali, maybe you could still bear with Surabaya. The second difference is that Balinese people and their religious culture is still very thick in their society, making Bali a heaven for tourists that seek for cultural beauty, while in Surabaya, people would care less about cultural activities because “Arek Suroboyo” will just focus on searching for living. But here’s a fact, If you seek for an environment that is supportive, loving, and you search for the togetherness feeling, I would recommend you to choose Surabaya over Bali, because in my view, most people in Bali would only be open to people from “their own” and most likely to close themselves to outsider.
Despite all that, for me, both Surabaya and Bali are beautiful in their own ways, and I’m very blessed to have the experience to live in both Surabaya and Bali. I think that’s all for now, I hope this short writing of mine will give you new insights about the difference between Bali and Surabaya. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful weekend ahead, cheers!
Favourite part: “But here’s a fact; if you seek an environment that is supportive, loving, and a feeling of togetherness, I would recommend you choose Surabaya over Bali, because, in my view, most people in Bali would only be open to people from “their own” and most likely to close themselves to outsider.” I found this an interesting observation. Make note of my edits.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder what you would say about Jakarta or Yogyakarta if you compared them to either Surabaya or Bali.
Vocabulary tip: “Rp100.000 – Rp150.000”. Here is a habit I suggest you get into: write numbers like these and amounts of rupiah in the English language/international way. Like this: Rp/Rupiah = IDR. And then the comma/decimal point issue is handled according to this:
“Great Britain and the United States are two of the few places in the world that use a period to indicate the decimal place. Many other countries use a comma instead. The decimal separator is also called the radix character. Likewise, while the U.K. and U.S. use a comma to separate groups of thousands, many other countries use a period instead, and some countries separate thousands groups with a thin space.” From: https://tinyurl.com/y2lj5979
So we go with the “U.K. and U.S.” thing here.
Grammar tip: “I would recommend you to choose Surabaya over Bali”. This should be written like this: “I would recommend that you choose Surabaya over Bali” (you can omit the word “that”) or “I would recommend choosing Surabaya over Bali”. After “suggest” and “recommend”, we use the infinitive of the verb but omit the word “to”.
Tell us what you know about the fashion business and why you chose not to pursue it as your major.
ReplyDeleteAt first, I applied and studied for the fashion business because starting in high school I developed my interest in Fashion but because of my family background I more interested in the business side of the fashion world. The courses that I studied mostly like a regular business major but we implicate all the theories with fashion-related examples. I learned a lot during a year in Istituto Marangoni such as how to set a trend, how to deal with the ups and downs of a fashion company. The major thing is that I learned that it is hard to find a balance to see fashion as an art but still try to manage it to be saleable. It comes in my concern that when I studied fashion business I'm actually more interested in the economy and business in a regular course. Then, I decided that took a year off because I want to have a degree in something that actually really interested to me. Which in this case I want to have a degree in accounting.
Favourite part: “The major thing is that I learned that it is hard to find a balance to see fashion as an art but still try to manage it to be saleable.” I found this an interesting observation.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder if you will end up “in the world of fashion”, so to speak, in some managerial or accounting role.
Vocabulary tip: “Fashion” is not capitalized.
Grammar tip: “At first, I applied and studied for the fashion business because starting in high school I developed my interest in Fashion but because of my family background I more interested in the business side of the fashion world.” A few minor edits or suggestions. Compare yours to mine: “At first, I applied to study for the fashion business because, starting in high school, I developed an interest in fashion but, because of my family background, I realized I was more interested in the business side of the fashion world.”
Tell us what your three all time favorite podcasts currently are.
ReplyDeleteAs I have mentioned before in my introduction, I consider myself new in the world of podcasting. However, there are several podcasts that I have been streaming back to back, in which three of them are certainly going to be my all-time favorites. On top of the list of my favorite podcasts is Crime Junkie by Audiochuck Production. Crime Junkie actually debuted in 2017, but I first encountered them a year ago. As you may guess from the title, they are a criminology podcast. On each episode the hosts, Ashley Flowers and Brit Prawat, discuss about unsolved crimes, past murders or incidents and sometimes even update the cases that they have covered. Right below Crime Junkie, my next favorite podcast would be Unexplained Mysteries by Parcast Network. Parcast Network actually has a wide range of thriller and crime-related podcast, but Unexplained Mysteries, to me, is the most thought-provoking. One of my favorite episodes from them is ‘The Deadly Dancing Plague of 1518,. Unlike many podcasts, they divide each cases or stories into two episodes, in which the second part is usually more interesting than their prequel. In the first part, the speakers will go deep into the history of each cases, whereas the second one discusses more about the conspiracy theories and the mysteries of them. Next on the list, a podcast with a less serious topic than the other two but equally as entertaining, is Billboard’s Pop Shop Podcast. Other than keeping myself updated with the current trend of music, I listen to Pop Shop Podcast because I like how they dissect the lyrics or production of certain albums which makes me, as an audience, appreciate the artists even more.
Favourite part: I am also a consumer of podcasts. You have made me curious about these three. Thank you.
DeleteMatter arising: This is a very healthy hobby to have if one wants to become well-a informed and well-rounded person (in terms of eclectic knowledge and insights).
Vocabulary tip: “the second one discusses more about the conspiracy theories and the mysteries of them.” The prepostion you want after “mysteries” is “behind” rather than “with”.
Grammar tip 1: “On top of the list of my favorite podcasts is Crime Junkie by Audiochuck Production. Crime Junkie actually debuted in 2017, but I first encountered them a year ago. As you may guess from the title, they are a criminology podcast.” I know you think of Crime Junkie as being two people (Ashley Flowers and Brit Prawat) but, while you can and should refer to the two guys as “they” and “them”, you need to refer to Crime Junkie as “it” and treat it as 3rd person singular.
Grammar tip 2: “Next on the list, a podcast with a less serious topic than the other two but equally as entertaining, is Billboard’s Pop Shop Podcast.” Comma after “list”: good. Comma after “entertaining”: good. Another comma needed after “two”.
Tell us about the Myers-Briggs Type Personality Indicator.
ReplyDeleteMyers-Briggs Type Personality Indicator or MBTI for short is like kind of a personality test. It is determined by filling a questionnaire containing fifty questions. Well, they are not really a question though, more like a statement, fifty statements. Each of those statements will be answered by telling your range of whether you can relate to it or not. The result will be containing four characters. Each of the characters tells about four different personalities aspects. The first character will show if you are more of an extrovert or an introvert. But, it is based on the percentage of your result. For example, if you got 90% extraverted and your friend got 51% extraverted, both of you will be located on the same page of the indicator: extraverted mind aspect. It is the reason why people still call it a pseudoscience. The second character determines your energy, how you process information. N stands for intuitive, the one with open-mindedness and dreamy; S stands for observant, the one that is practical and pragmatic. The third character can be an F or a T based on your kind of decision-making, it stands for feeling and thinking respectively. The last aspect will tell you about how you work things out, whether you are judging or prospecting. So, the total of personalities that MBTI has is sixteen. Oh, there is the last additional thing. It's the fifth character that doesn't really speak for personality, but it tells you about either you are a turbulent person or an assertive person. For more understanding, it is like a fixed mindset vs. growth mindset, a reference to the PPSMB Palapa course. You can have your result in just 12 minutes of answering the questionnaire by following this link: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
Favourite part: Thank you for the link!
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder how accurate or significant such results are.
Vocabulary tip: ‘Each of the characters tells about four different personalities aspects. The first character will show if you are more of an extrovert or an introvert. But, it is based on the percentage of your result.” By “character”, do you mean “characteristic”? “It is the reason why people still call it a pseudoscience.” The word “pseudoscience” is good; another term you could use is “pop science”.
Grammar tip: “It is determined by filling a questionnaire containing fifty questions. Well, they are not really a question though, more like a statement, fifty statements.” Compare yours to mine: “It is determined by filling in* a questionnaire containing fifty questions. Well, they are not really questions though; they are more like fifty statements.”
* “fill in” is British English and “fill out” is American English.
Tell us about a few of your greatest moments as a foodie
ReplyDeleteBeing in a foodie in a country with such rich, flavorsome cuisine, there are many defining moments worth celebrating. However, considering the fact that I’ve probably eaten enough Indonesian food to last a lifetime, I’d like to focus more on the wonderful meals I had during my trip to Japan two years ago. In 2017, my family and I went to Japan as well, but we either ate at mediocre restaurants or simply bought food at convenience stores (which were still delicious, but not quite as celebrated as the food I had during our second Japan trip). During our second time there, though, my mother decided that we needed to get more hands-on in Japan’s food scene. This is the part where a restaurant’s name is supposed to pop up. Except the place that brought me one the best, most defining moments as a foodie was not a restaurant. It was a very traditional, quaint ryokan. A ryokan is an inn with very Japanese-y characteristics such as tatami-matted rooms, yukatas as bathrobes, wooden slippers in place of a hotel’s regular flat-soled sandals, sliding wooden doors, and – to my absolute delight – an onsen!
One of the key characteristics of this ryokan we stayed at in was that, for dinner, guests would be served a very special, six-course meal. The first thing that happened in preparation for the dinner was that two ladies clad in beautiful silk kimonos came into our ryokan room and set up our dinner table. These two ladies would also become our servers for the night. Our first course consisted of traditional Japanese appetizers, which I cannot recall the name of. But, I do remember miso soup and thinly-shredded egg being a part of it. Both were light flavors on the palate and came in such an adorable plate set. The second course was one of my favorites. It was a small plate consisting of fresh shrimp, firefly squid, seabream and tuna sashimi, served with wasabi and soy sauce. I remember being absolutely surprised when the shrimp, strange as it was, melted in my mouth! I had never thought it possible that shrimp could even melt in one’s mouth, considering the only shrimp I’ve eaten in all my life required at least some effort to chew. The third course was a grilled salmon coated in a rich miso butter, though I can’t say this was one of the highlight dishes for me. Our fourth course was a Hida beef plate, complete with a small, individual grills. The Hida beef was supple and flavorsome, especially when cooked well and eaten with its dipping sauce. Our second to last course was named the Chef’s Present. It was a little bowl with singular pieces of bamboo shoot, mackerel, and a Japanese rice cake (like the pink ones in Naruto). This, too, was very minimalist in flavor, and I suppose it served as a palate cleanser before dessert. Finally, the sixth dish came. Dessert. It was absolutely wonderful too – and so adorable! The sixth course included a sakura pudding, matcha mochi and fruit. The pudding was light and airy, the mochi chewy and texturous, and the fruit were tart and refreshing. It was such a delight to be able to taste authentic Japanese cuisine and I felt so fortunate to have been able to go through such a thing, as I know it isn’t something a lot of people will ever experience.
Favourite part: This all brings back good memories and you describe the food excellently.
DeleteMatter arising: You say “I’ve probably eaten enough Indonesian food to last a lifetime”. I wonder if you have eaten at least one speciality dish from every Indonesian province.
Vocabulary tip 1: If this were not submitted via blogger, where no formatting is possible, you would need to italicize a lot of words in this piece of writing!
Vocabulary tip 2: “A ryokan is an inn with very Japanese-y characteristics such as tatami-matted rooms, yukatas as bathrobes, wooden slippers in place of a hotel’s regular flat-soled sandals, sliding wooden doors, and – to my absolute delight – an onsen!” I know exactly what you are trying to express with the wordplay of “Japanese-y” but a better way to say what you want to say is the simpler… “A ryokan is an inn with very traditional characteristics…” The fact that you are talking about Japanese tradition is no mystery!
Tell us more about your hopes and plans for your fresh start in Yogyakarta.
ReplyDeleteAs I wrote previously on my last assignment, I lived in this small town called Gresik. It’s not so small that I know everyone in the town, but my environment for the last six years has been pretty much the same. The people that I went to school with didn’t really change that drastically. This really prevented me from growing because I guess I felt like everyone else already had things that they were already good at and it also became something that they were known for. This mentality made me feel afraid of trying new things that were already someone else’s ‘thing’. So, my hopes and plans for my fresh start in Yogyakarta is to be able to fully explore myself and be the best version of myself without anyone holding me back. I’d really like to see how much I will change and improve once I graduate from here. I used to be really passive during classes and discussions because a part of me was afraid of what other people, especially the ones who already knew me well, were thinking. I’m only on my second week of university, but I can already feel the benefit of not knowing anyone from my home town. I have been expressing myself way more comfortably these days. t’s truly exciting to know that I have endless possibilities for the years ahead. As for my plans, I’m not quite sure if I have one but I know that I want to be more active in organizations so currently I’ve already applied to two organizations. This is already a bit of an improvement for me because I never would’ve done it back in high school.
Favourite part: What a terrific piece of writing! Everyone, take a moment to read this and take not of the clarity ot thinking and the flow of the explanation.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder how you ‘measure’ your growth; is it sufficient if you are simply subjective about it?
Vocabulary tip: “I know that I want to be more active in organizations so currently I’ve already applied to two organizations.” You can avoid the repetition of the word “organizations” like this: “I know that I want to be more active in organizations so currently I’ve already applied to two of them.” Perhaps this is even better: “I know that I want to be more active in organizations so currently I’ve already applied to two.”
Grammar tip: In the sentence above, I suggest you put a comma after “so” and a comma after “currently” as if it were an interruption (with extra information) inderted into the sentence.
“tell us what is your life skills advice as fellow teenagers who have to move around as much as you did prior to coming to FEB”
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing I have learned from living nomadically is the ability to survive. Now this must sounds a little extreme since maybe some of you think that moving from one town to another is all sweets and cookies for getting to explore new experiences in each city. Although that is not entirely wrong, I must say the obstacles are not an easy level as well.
Now, what I mean by surviving is that you must be able to adapt. I know some of you probably don’t really care about social life and only keen to focus on you academic life instead. But as you grow older, you got to want a nice social life as it will benefit you in many aspects of your life. So my best advice would be this; find the right people to stick on and get through things together for long term. It doesn’t have to be a big circle, just a few to at least start your network before going to some bigger groups. Don’t trust people easily; laugh and follow up to them but don’t share your private matters before you are sure that they are the right person to share things and that they care enough to give you some nice advices instead of only wanting to hear your stories out of their curiosity . Don’t try so hard to fit in. Just go with the flow and be who you are. Believe me; people will know if you’re faking your personality just to make yourself look cool and popular.
There are surely some more things to be concerned about. But once you got some nice palls by your side, it will be much easier to go through your other problems. That’s why I think the most important skill that we should have when we are about to start a new page in a whole new environment is how to adapt and build up a good and healthy social life.
Favourite part: The first three sentence draw your readers in nicely.
DeleteMatter arising: “Don’t trust people easily; laugh and follow up to them but don’t share your private matters before you are sure that they are the right person to share things and that they care enough to give you some nice advices instead of only wanting to hear your stories out of their curiosity.” Wise advice, indeed. Sometimes (in fact, too often perhaps, the very first person who reaches out to us in a new environment ends up being a problematical individual and oftentimes the reason they reach out to new people is because they have alienated themselves from the human environment you are entering).
Vocabulary tip: This metaphor… “all sweets and cookies”… is something you have made up; it didn’t exist previously! There’s nothing wrong with that; it expresses the idea nicely. The expressions that come to mind which ALREADY existed (before you came along) are “it is not a bed of roses” or “it’s no bed of roses”. And another one could be “it’s not all peaches and cream”.
Grammar tip: “There are surely some more things to be concerned about. But once you got some nice palls by your side, it will be much easier to go through your other problems. That’s why I think the most important skill that we should have when we are about to start a new page in a whole new environment is how to adapt and build up a good and healthy social life.” This is good and well expressed in the present tense… which makes the (past tense) “got” in the second sentence. It needs to be either “get” or (present perfect) “have got”.
Tell us about one of highs and one of the lows during your time in Australia.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a long time since I left Australia, but some memories are still very vivid in my mind, so I will tell those today. It’s hard to choose one of the highs during my time there because I enjoyed it so much, but it probably is being honored as one of the best students in my class. You see, I had no prior knowledge of English before coming there, so it was very challenging for me to adapt to the new situation. The school that I went to had a separate class for foreigners who aren’t fluent in English, so I had to take those. I never had any extra sessions to sharpen my English skills, and I still speak Indonesian when I’m at home, so even though my English was getting better, it was moving at a snail’s pace. That’s why I was so happy when my name was called because it felt like finally, all of my efforts were acknowledged. Don’t get me wrong, I had great friends who helped me tremendously when I lived there. All of the teachers were also very welcoming. I’ve never felt homesick when I was there because of their kindness. Next, let’s move on to one of the lows. I already gave a snippet of what it is. Yes, it’s learning the language. I made lots of mistakes so my books were full of red marks from my teacher. It definitely was stressful and I felt a bit alienated at times because I had no idea what people were saying. But overall, I had such a great time in Australia. Since I had to move a lot when I was still in elementary school, I definitely believe that this experience was the big step that taught me the basics of how to adapt to new situations faster.
Favourite part: “It has been a long time since I left Australia, but some memories are still very vivid in my mind, so I will tell those today.” This is a good introductory sentence. The last bit should read like this: “I will tell you about those today.” We either have to tell SOMETHING to SOMEONE or we have to tell SOMEONE SOMETHING.
DeleteMatter arising: “Next, let’s move on to one of the lows. I already gave a snippet of what it is. Yes, it’s learning the language. I made lots of mistakes so my books were full of red marks from my teacher. It definitely was stressful and I felt a bit alienated at times because I had no idea what people were saying.” Well, you have obviously done very well – judging by your writing – so the stress and the lows were worth it.
Vocabulary tip: “You see, I had no prior knowledge of English before coming there, so it was very challenging for me to adapt to the new situation.” Seeing as you are not in Australia and nor are most of your readers, it makes more sense to say “before going there” than to say “before coming there”.
Grammar tip: “I never had any extra sessions to sharpen my English skills, and I still speak Indonesian when I’m at home, so even though my English was getting better, it was moving at a snail’s pace.” The verb “speak” should be in the past tense: “spoke”.
Tell us what your impression of studying accounting is so far this semester.
ReplyDeleteFor me a natural science student that crosses to the field of social science studies, Accounting for the past 2 meetings has been very exhilarating to study. Mr Hardo Basuki or Mr Hardo is the lecturer of my accounting class, and so far he has given us many homeworks and presentation, personally I like his method of teaching because not just with theory but he always give us homework about the chapter that we will learn the next meeting. It drives you to learn by yourself and read the book, and so far introduction to accounting is still a relatively fun course to learn. Even through the materials that I have which is the first one is about the basic equation of accounting ( Assets = Liabillity + Owner’s Equity) and the second one which relates to journaling or some would called book keeping. From those two chapters and the way that Mr Hardo is teaching us I become increasingly eager to venture deep into accounting. Even though there is a very long way to go in Accounting but I believe with a great start, we can enjoy it as something like doing our hobby etc not as a burden in our lives. Hopefully later down the roads I can still enjoy it and receive it as a knowledge not as something that we must gone through to survive college and much of the principles of accounting I can very much think the same way with that not like when in highschool I have to learn about Chemistry which I still can’t understand why would it happen like that and with a great positive mind to learn accounting I believe we can go through it and change people’s perception about accounting.
Favourite part: I have enjoyed hearing about your enthusiasm.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder if you will become an accountant but also end up being an accounting lecturer.
Vocabulary tip: The words “accounting” and “chemistry” in the piece above should not be capitalized. The term “high school” is correct, while writing it as one word (“highschool”) is incorrect.
Grammar tip: “He has given us many homeworks and presentation”. The noun “homework” is uncountable (you can’s say “three homeworks” or “a homework”). So you can’t use “many” with it (e.g. “I wish you many happiness” WRONG… “I want many water in my bath” WRONG). Instead, you can use “a lot of”. Unlike “homework”, the word “presentation” (in this context) is countable. Now, I assume you are talking about more than one presentation, so it needs to be plural. Like this: “He has given us a lot of homework and presentations (to prepare).” Another way to talk about “homework” like it’s a countable noun is to talk about “a piece/pieces of homework”. This is now countable. You could also refer to homework as “an assignment” which is a countable noun.
Tell us about each of your five cats.
ReplyDeleteI’ve got two male and three female cats at the moment. The eldest two, Barney and Bulb, are set free to play around the neighborhood, while the three females Louisa, Milo, and Pooh stay inside the house because they have not been neutered yet. Starting with Barney, he is by far the nicest cat of all five. He eats well and gets along with the others well – he’s never started a fight with any of his siblings! Barney is a yellow cat, like Bulb, and they both have fairly similar features despite their difference in size.
Bulb, on the other hand, is a tad bigger and taller than Barney. My family and I are amazed at how tall he is for a cat, especially compared to the other cats in the neighborhood. Bulb is nice to his siblings Barney, Louisa, Milo, and Pooh, but lately he’s been picking on a kitten that visits our house often, for no apparent reason. His favorite food is grilled chicken and he never hesitates to steal one from the kitchen without any of us knowing.
As for the females, they all have very different personalities. Louisa is the most active of all – she can open a door when she wants to and she likes to climb curtains whenever she’s bored. She likes to be near humans, grabbing onto any piece of jewelry that I’m wearing, and eventually taking it off for her to play with. Milo is the complete opposite – she can usually be found sleeping or eating leaves from our houseplants. She doesn’t do much and urinates everywhere but her litter box. Lastly, Pooh is the youngest cat. She is well-loved by Louisa, judging from how Louisa always hugs her when they sleep.
Favourite part: “Starting with Barney, he is by far the nicest cat of all five.” The name my family (and all friends who have come into contact with my family) call me is Barney.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder how much it costs to have a cat neutered.
Vocabulary tip: You used the word “siblings”, so are all these kittens from the same litte?
Grammar tip: I found your piece to be flawless. Well done.
Tell us what you would spend one day doing in Yogyakarta with a visitor who was new to the city
ReplyDeleteOne of my hobbies is traveling. I would love to spend one full-day with a friend of mine who was new to Yogyakarta to stroll around the city. Yogyakarta has a lot of interesting destinations to offer. If you search on google, there are some travel destination recommendations on where to visit when you are in Yogyakarta. But, the results are mainly mainstream spots that are probably no longer interesting for Gen-Z. Here in Yogyakarta, we have many varieties of travel destination. From unique café and restaurants, natures, food destinations, fun parks, and many others. Let’s be more specific, I am going to talk about the nature destination first. So, in the south area of Yogyakarta Province you will find a lot of hidden gems in a form of beach. In the north area you will find interesting fun parks, café or restaurants with a view of mountain, etc. Second of all, the food destination! Foods in Yogyakarta tasted like heaven. My favorites are Sate Klathak, Gudheg Bromo, and Bakmi Jawa Sambilegi (located in a traditional market named Sambilegi).
What makes Yogyakarta considered as a very comfortable place to either visit or live in is because everything is cheap in here rather than in other city. Here is an example, one day I went to a picnic with my high school friends in Waduk Sermo, Kulonprogo. I only had to pay Rp6.000 to enter the area and Rp5.000 for a ticket to the camping spot. I paid an extra Rp10.000 to ride a boat which is cheap enough for a boat ride. On the way home, I had a lunch in a place called Kopi Ampirono and I only had to pay Rp15.000 for my meal. We can have an exciting one-day trip without having to pay more than roughly Rp40.000. In summary, I would love to have a short trip with my friend when they visit Yogyakarta and we can go anywhere they like.
Favourite part: “The results (of a Google search) are mainly mainstream spots that are probably no longer interesting for Gen-Z.” This struck me as in interesting point that I had not considered before.
DeleteVocabulary tip 1: “Rp6.000”. Here is a habit I suggest you get into: write numbers like these and amounts of rupiah in the English language/international way. Like this: Rp/Rupiah = IDR. Now have a look here https://tinyurl.com/y2lj5979 and then read the comment I addressed to Devin.
Vocabulary tip 2: I notice that you hyphenated “full day” which is incorrect. See this:
From Quora: "Is 'full day' hyphenated?" It depends on how you use it. If you use “full" as an adjective to modify “day," the answer is no. We had a very full day at the zoo. If you use it as a phrase to modify a noun, the answer is yes. This kindergarten operates a full-day program. With this said, many grammar checks and autocorrection devices omit the hyphen, so it may disappear from usage by the next decade.
Grammar tip: Go back and read this sentence again: “If you search on google, there are some travel destination recommendations on where to visit when you are in Yogyakarta” and tell me what is lost if you omit the last five words? Nothing. In fact, the sentence is less clumsy without the repetition.
Tell me about your time at Yogyakarta State University.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I will write about how I got there. It was night at 8 pm, the very moment of truth, my body was trembling because I would see a word that decided my future, accepted or not accepted. Then at 9 pm, it came. I was told I did pass to came to Yogyakarta State University, however, it felt so strange whereas the university welcomed me, i didn’t have a happy face nor a sad one. Anyway, the campus laid out procedures post-acceptance announcement, including the student orientation and the location where i would do the learning activity.
I was pretty shocked when they inform my studying place, Kulonprogo that is, about an hour from Yogya. Although it has an Olympic-size pool, the area surrounding it was so underdeveloped (well, in my opinion, not intend to insult it whatsoever) unlike the main campus in Karangmalang. Few diners, few attractions, breaking-sweat weather, those things made me didn’t want to move and decided to stay in Sleman.
As a result, I had to drove my bike for at least sixty minutes all the way from mountain to seashore. It was tiring of course, but a man got to do what he got to do right? And when i came to the class, the whole thing was not very memorable and attachable in my mind. I think it was myself to blame with for not following the lecture very well and not caring to my friends. I did had a decent IP in the first year, but then my ethos and focus got deteriated in the second. Hence, I didn’t keep up with the lesson and the lecturer, my grades dropped, then in April this year, was my final stay in Yogyakarta State University.
Favourite part: I like the way you left it on a mysterious note: we don’t know whether you decided to leave or if you were kicked out!
DeleteMatter arising: So I wonder if this means you have ‘lost’ two whole academic years or… that you are two years older than many of your classmates.
Vocabulary tip: “A man got to do what he got to do” should, in fact, be: “A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do”. Note the ‘apostrophe + S’ where the S is “has”, AND not the repetition of “a man”.
Grammar tip: “I had to drove my bike for at least sixty minutes all the way from mountain to seashore.” [1] After the modal verb “have (to)” or (past tense) “had (to)”, the next verb is infinitive – that’s why there is the word “to”. So, “I had to drive.” [2] It needs to be “the mountain” and “the seashore” because they are both countable nouns.
Tell us what you know about monash university
ReplyDeleteMonash university is a university that originally started in Melbourne, Australia with other branches in China, India, Italy and also in Malaysia which is the one i tried to apply to earlier this year. The university in melbourne is considered to be one of the largest universities there, and hosts multiple different majors ranging from more creative fields such as art and design and to more scientific fields such as computer science or medicine. Currently it is ranked 64th as of current time based on Times Higher Education World University Rankings. Monash Malaysia on the other hand is also considered one of the bigger universities in Malaysia and also has the variety of different fields that the australian counterpart possesses. From what I know the university also has a large number of international students from many different countries especially from south east asia. From what i’ve heard and seen they also have a great system for online learning with their website and are very generous with the current circumstances of COVID19 prolonging admission periods and giving leniency about required documents to addon their majors and programmes seem exciting to me such as the programme i am interested in which is the Bachelors of Business And Commerce and Bachelors of Digital Media and Communications and also clubs like the sports clubs and maybe certain special interest clubs.
Favourite part: It’s good that you mentioned the university’s policy on COVID-19.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder which is more prestigious… the Times Higher Education World University Rankings or the QS World University Rankings.
Vocabulary tip 1: “Melbourne”, “Australian” and “Asia” need to be capitalized.
“…and also clubs like the sports clubs and maybe certain special interest clubs.” Compare yours to mine: “…and also clubs like those that cater to sports and maybe certain special interests.”
Grammar tip: “Currently it is ranked 64th as of current time based on Times Higher Education World University Rankings.” If you start with “currently”, you don’t need to then say “as of (the) current time”.
Tell us more of what you know about Germany
ReplyDeleteIve been to Germany once throughout my entire life. I went there last year because my older sister lives there. Germany is one of Europe's largest countries and it encompasses a wide variety of landscapes. The capital city of Germany is Berlin and one fun fact about Berlin is that it has the largest train station in Europe. Another fun fact that i know about Germany is that 65% of the highways in Germany have no speed limit. I discover this when i was on a road trip from Germany to Paris. Germany is full of river valleys and rising and falling hills, also the snow covered Alps and bushy mountains. It is a wealthy country with a high standard of living. It is famous for making plastics, paints and pharmaceuticals as well as cars, electrical goods and computers. The weather there is also unpredictable there, It generally has a moderate climate and have a good rains through the whole year. The weather varies from year to year and so rainy summers can be followed by spectacular sunshine in the next coming year.
Favourite part: It’s all a nicely done, concise description that covers the main details.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder if you hope to study there and whether you will be able to study in the same institution that your sister attended.
Vocabulary tip 1: You use the word “Germany” seven times. Now, repeating the name of the country is inevitable for the purposes of clarity but some of the repetition can maybe be avoided. Look at my version of the first part of your piece:
“I have been to Germany just once in my entire life. I went there last year because my older sister lives there. It is one of Europe's largest countries and it encompasses a wide variety of landscapes. The capital is Berlin and one fun fact about the city is that it has the largest train station in Europe. Another fun fact that I know about Germany is that 65% of the highways in the country have no speed limit. I discovered this when I was on a road trip to France. Germany is full of river valleys and rising and falling hills, also the snow covered Alps and bushy mountains.”
I have purged four instances of the word “Germany” being referred to by name. And yet, nothing is lost from your description of the country.
Also, take note of some of the other edits I made and figure out why I made each one.
Tell us in detail about my COVID-19 test.
ReplyDeleteCOVID-19 is no joke, many people in Indonesia died just because of this virus. The government already gives people the solution to reduce the spread of this virus by study, work, and pray from home. The government also has a program to check whether you are infected or not, the program is called the “rapid test” and the “swab test.” This program’s purpose is to count and list how many people get infected.
On Friday, September 25th my parents took me to the closes hospital in Depok and wanted to get rapid tested. The sole purpose of this just to make sure that I can go to Yogyakarta to see and check the house that my parents rented for me for next year. So, the test it wasn’t bad, they checked if my body has the antibody to fight the COVID-19 and it didn’t have, it would’ve been bad if I have the antibody because that means my body has been in contact with the virus. Everything went smoothly and the result I’m not infected. The things that make me worry was the tools that used by the doctor, I’m afraid that the doctor doesn’t use the new or sterilized tools to check me or the other patient, because that can make the uninfected person become an infected one just because of the tools that used by the doctor doesn’t get replaced with the new one. I think now that Depok is a black COVID-19 zone which means that many people got infected and die in Depok and people don’t care about how dangerous this virus is. That’s my experience with rapid test and I suggest you don’t get the rapid test if you are not going anywhere far because I think rapid test result paper only has 3 days for you to use before it gets expired and will be unusable.
Favourite part: I like the part where you express your concerns about hygiene.
DeleteMatter arising: Was the test administered for free?
Vocabulary tip: “only has 3 days”. Write numbers under ten as words.
Grammar tip: “The things that make me worry was the tools that used by the doctor, I’m afraid that the doctor doesn’t use the new or sterilized tools to check me or the other patient, because that can make the uninfected person become an infected one just because of the tools that used by the doctor doesn’t get replaced with the new one.”
You need to choose whether you want to tell this story in the past tense (something that happened) or in the present tense (stuff that is generally true and that you believe). Here are the two versions. Take note of all the edits and see if you can see the reason why I made each one:
[1] “The things that make me worry are the tools that are used by the doctor. I’m afraid that the doctor doesn’t use new or sterilized tools to check me or the other patients, because that can make uninfected people become infected just because the tools that he uses don’t get replaced with new ones.”
[2] “The things that made me worry were the tools that were used by the doctor. I was afraid that the doctor wasn’t using new or sterilized tools to check me or the other patients, because that could make uninfected people become infected just because the tools that he used didn’t get replaced with new ones.”