Tell us about Japanese cuisine.
Tell us about your diet.
Tell us what your all friends from Al-Izhar Pondok Labu Highschool are doing now.
Tell us about some of your most interesting failures.
Tell us the history of Chelsea F.C. during the years you have been a fa
Tell us which instrument you would most like to take up professionally and what kind of musical career you would love to have.
Tell us about your two sibblings
Pick one series from Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Big Bang Theory and tell us all about it.
Tell us more about being raised in a multicultural Indonesian family.
Tell us about your plans for achieving balance in your life as both a housewife and businesswoman.
Tell us about the musical genre “hip hop rap” and assume that none of us know anything about it.
Tell us about the games Mobile Legends and Cooking Mama and assume that none of us know anything about them.
Tell us what you know about Ireland.
Tell us some stories about having a younger sister since the age of 11.
Tell us about a few informational videos on YouTube that you have especially liked.
Tell us what is the appeal of Harry Potter books and assume that none of us know anything about them.
Tell us about the tourism facilities around Mount Lawu and in Karanganyar.
My Two Siblings
ReplyDeleteAs you all know that I have two siblings, both are sisters and older than me. The oldest one is 24 this year and her name is Amrah, my other sister is 22 this year and her name is Naurah. Amrah graduated from the international class of the University of Indonesia with a grade point average of 3.6, she did her double degree to the University of Groningen for two years and also graduated there cum laude, she took management here in Indonesia and took international business in the Netherlands. She now works in and multinational consulting company. Naurah graduated July this year also from the international class of the University of Indonesia but majoring in law, she did a student exchange also to the University of Groningen. She now is applying to a well known law firm in Indonesia, out of the two of them Amrah is the more creative one, as her hobbies include painting and drawing. Naurah on the other hand her hobbies rotates more around cooking and baking. The two of them are really close with each other as they are only two years apart and they like to watch the same type of things on television which are reality tv shows such as Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Favourite part: I think you started this piece well. And I like the detail that you chose to end it with.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder if there is anything about them that is an inspiration to you.
Vocabulary tip: “reality tv shows”. Capitalize “TV”.
Grammar edit: “The two of them are really close with each other as they are only two years apart”. The words “with each other” sound redundant.
How I Met Your Mother
ReplyDeleteHow I Met Your Mother is a TV show with sitcoms as their genre. Their setting is in the future in the year of 2030 which shows a dad telling stories of his past to his children. The dad being the main character called Ted starts his story by telling his story of meeting a gorgeous girl in a bar called Robin. They eventually dated for a while which made Robin hang out with Ted’s friends which are Marshall, Lily and Barney. Not long after, Robin and Ted broke up and became best friends along with the three others. Marshall and Lily have been dating since they were in college and Barney was the type of guy who would hit on random girls in the bar. The five people would have drinks and talk in the particular bar called Maclaren’s pub at least once a week. They would come to the bar at night and just talk about how their day went. Lily would rant about how her day went as a kindergarten teacher, Robin would rant about how her day went as a news reporter, Marshall was still studying law, Ted would tell about his work about being an architect and Barney would just blabber out random things because he would never want to talk about his job. However, there are also some days where they would just discuss random thoughts. All in all, How I Met Your Mother is 90% Ted telling his story about his 4 friends and 10% on how he met his wife or in this perspective, their mother.
Favourite part: You have described this very well. And you have made it sound intriguing. I am curious and I want to seek it out and give it a try.
DeleteMatter arising: You didn’t matter how many series there are or whether the programme is still being made.
Vocabulary tip: You used the word “random” three times. You don’t HAVE to avoid this, but my approach to writing makes me WANT to avoid it.
Grammar edit: “All in all, How I Met Your Mother is 90% Ted telling his story about his 4 friends and 10% on how he met his wife or in this perspective, their mother.” The “10%” and the “90%” are OK, but the “4” should be written as the word “four”.
Tell us about your diet
ReplyDeleteWell, since Mr. Adrian has asked me about my diet, I might as well tell everyone how I’m progressing with my diet. My initial goal was to lose the weight I gained since the quarantine period started in March. Throughout the quarantine period, I’ve gained around seven kilograms of weight, with most of it going to my belly and thighs. The method I chose to help me lose the seven kilograms I gained was through daily home workouts and eating less. This method requires me to do a morning jog and a 20-minute home workout routine on 6 days of the week. Which means that I would exercise from Monday to Saturday, and have Sunday as a day for me to rest. The method I chose also requires me to eat less in most of my meals, especially for my lunch and dinner. But all that, was a month ago, and I never actually did it. I always had a problem with committing to exercise, sports training or workout routines, except for basketball, since I love basketball so much that sometime I would even force myself to play even when I’m injured. Thus, until now, I’ve not lost any weight. Even worse, now that I started my university life, my goal changed drastically. With all the physical and mental exhaustion from classes every day, I’ve become even lazier and less motivated to do my workouts, even though I still try to reduce the amount I eat. Let me emphasize on the word “try” in the previous sentence. Now with all of that taking place, I do my home workouts only if I’m in the mood or if I’m forced by my parents. So, now my goal is not to lose the seven kilograms I gained anymore, but my new goal is to not gain weight again.
Favourite part: “So, now my goal is not to lose the seven kilograms I gained anymore, but my new goal is to not gain weight again.” A nice way to end. You started with your “initial goal” and you ended up with your current goal.
DeleteMatter arising: Have you heard of food combining? It’s worked for me in the past.
Vocabulary tip: It’s OK to call me Adrian. If you want to be more formal, the correct way to do it is to call me Mr Coen (or Mr. Coen, with a full stop after “Mr”, in American English). Also, my full name, formally, is Mr Adrian Coen, but you would never say that when addressing me. “Mister” goes with the family name: in this case, “Coen”. No native English speaker (at least not from my own country) would connect “Mister/Mr” to my first name (“Adrian”). And, whatever you do, you don’t call someone just “Mister” in English because, while it is an understandable mistake, it does noy sound nice, and if I ever called another British person (just) “Mister” without their family name, it would sound unfriendly or hostile.
Grammar edit: “Well, since Mr Coen has asked me about my diet, I might as well tell everyone how I’m progressing with it.” Note that I have avoided the repetition of “my diet” by using a pronoun.
You wrote:
“My initial goal was to lose the weight I gained since the quarantine period started in March. Throughout the quarantine period...”. You can make this smoother by replacing the repeat of “the quarantine” with “that” (or “this”).
Thank you for the feedback, Mr. Coen.
DeleteJapanese Cuisine
ReplyDeleteJapanese cuisine is the regional and traditional foods from Japan, which may changed or developed as time goes by. Usually, Japanese cuisine consists of rice, miso soup, other dishes, and a set of seasonal ingredients. One of the most popular Japanese cuisine is called "Sushi". There are many kinds of sushi, like Gunkan Maki, Nigiri Sushi, and Temaki which was differed by their shape. Japan is famous for its exceptional quality of seafood. Therefore, we can find a lot of Japanese cuisine that use seafood as its topping. "Ramen" is also a renowned Japanese cuisine all around the world. Basically, ramen is a noodle soup that has some type of broth, like miso or shoyu. Particularly in winter, Japanese enjoy reating ramen because it warms their body. But if you want to taste ramen on summer, you can try cold ramen. Cold ramen is a chilled ramen noodles with various toppings. If you are a fan of beef, you're going to love Gyudon. Gyudon is a beef bowl, which consists of rice, egg, onion, and of course, beef. In Japan, rice bowl is called "Donburi". If you don't like beef, you can also try Tempura Donburi or Chicken Donburi. Speaking of chicken, Japan is also famous for its Katsudon. It's a bowl of rice filled with deep-fried pork cutlets, egg, vegetables, and condiments. A lot of restaurants use chicken cutlets or prawn instead of pork cutlets, in order to suit everyone's taste. In short, people who try Japanese cuisine will definitely find a cuisine that satisfy their tastebuds. Trying Japanese cuisine is a must! You will not regret it at all.
Favourite part: Actually, the whole thing is a very good run down of the main types of Japanese food.
DeleteMatter arising: You mentioned “sushi” (not capitalized), and you mentioned the names of serveral types, but you didn’t really say what it is.
Vocabulary tip: “One of the most popular Japanese cuisine is called "Sushi".” The “word” cuisine means food and cooking and dishes in general. The word you want here instead of “cuisine” is “dishes”. But compares these two sentences. “The most popular Japanese dish is called sushi” and “One of the most popular Japanese dishes is called sushi”. Notice how the word “dishes” is plural in the second one.
Grammar edit: This is almost a trivial thing. You wrote: “Japan is famous for its exceptional quality of seafood.” I actually think this is the better way to write it: “Japan is famous for the exceptional quality of its seafood.”
The appeal of Harry Potter Books and assume no one of us know anything about them.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think Harry Potter is probably one of the best serial novels out there. Each Harry Potter books live up to the expectations, not many authors meet their previous book’s standard since not everyone is blessed with good ideas continuously. One of my favourite aspects of this book is the world-building itself. Don’t get me started on the description of each scene. The concept of the wizarding world itself is very fresh and original, not to mention the fact that J.K Rowling was able to create such terms for her “world” and made everyone memorize it. However, the plot itself is out of this world. I think the books are suitable for both teenagers and adults, even though it’s mainly about Harry’s school life from his first year until his final battle with his nemesis. This book is about Harry’s adventure, friendship, devastation, and love.
If you are looking for a series with good character developments, this novel is for you. Harry never loses his idealism throughout the series, despite the hardships that he
encountered during his journey. This novel taught me lots of life lessons from each
character. I hope that this book will inspire you to become a better person as well, it’s been 7 years since I first read Harry Potter and it still holds a special place in my heart.
I am not sure how those line breaks crept into your text in the last paragraph. It happens sometimes if you write using 'Notepad'.
DeleteFavourite part: “I think the books are suitable for both teenagers and adults, even though it’s mainly about Harry’s school life from his first year until his final battle with his nemesis.” A good sentence. More importantly, I have heard this said before and yet I have never read a Harry Potter book. I have no excuse; as you say, it’s suitable for adults.
DeleteMatter arising: Do you think there will be any more or has the series come to an end?
Vocabulary tip: “This novel taught me lots of life lessons from each
character.” Perhaps a less clumsy way of saying this would be like this: “Each character in these novels taught me lots of life lessons”.
Grammar edit: “It’s been 7 years since I first read Harry Potter”. Write it as “seven” because it is a number under ten.
Tell us about the games Mobile Legends and Cooking Mama and assume that none of us know anything about them.
ReplyDeleteCooking Mama is a cooking simulation that is design in a mini game, the player will do the cooking simulation with the instruction of “Mama”. We used to play it in a device called Nintendo but we can play it now with our handphone or tablet. Each minigame represent different activities such as frying, boiling, chopping or even making a cake. You will be timed during the simulation and your work will be graded, if you pass the time limit without doing any sufficient progress there will be a illustration of an angry “Mama”. It’s a very fun game if you need to kill time or if you’re bored.
But if you want to play an online game that you can play it together with your friends and will hone your skill to strategize, I think Mobile Legends is one of your answer. Mobile Legends is a multiplayer online battle arena game. This game have several types of gameplay Classic, Ranked, Vs Ai, Survival, Custom, and Magic Chess. In classic, ranked and custom we will have 2 opposing teams fight to destroy the enemy’s base while still defending their own base. In each team there are 5 players which have their own hero, and they can choose their own hero every time they want to start a match. You will have to choose one of 6 categories of the heroes, they have mage, marksman, tank, support, assassin and fighter. You also need to arrange your equipment that’s also referred as build, you need to arrange them so that you will give more damage or more health for your hero. If you play the ranked mode and you win, you will get more stars to rank up and you will also meet the players that’s your rank.
Favourite part: I think referring to what gadgets or consoles it can be played on is a good detail.
DeleteMatter arising: You could have mentioned similar games in passing but it wasn’t essential do so so.
Vocabulary tip: “We used to play it in a device called Nintendo but we can play it now with our handphone or tablet.” The preposition “with” ~ “we can play it now with our handphone or tablet” ~ is fine (you could use “on” or “using” instead), but “to play it in a device” is not right. In this case, you have to use “on” or “using”.
Grammar edit: “We will have 2 opposing teams” and “one of 6 categories” and “there are 5 players”. In these cases, you should write the numbers as words.
“If you want to play an online game that you can play it together with your friends and will hone your skill to strategize, I think Mobile Legends is one of your answer.” After the expression “one of the”, the noun that follows must be plural. Examples: “One of the things I like about Yogyakarta is the large number of “sopan santun” people who live there.” Or this: “Indonesia is one of the nations that offers leadership in the ASEAN region.”
Tell us about some of your most interesting failures.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago, I was in the second level of senior high school and I was keen of joining speech competitions. I involved myself in three types of speeches, from English, Indonesian, and religious speech (dakwah). The first experience was funny yet so humiliating. It was the time for me to create speeches about the environment and competed with four students only. As I started my greetings to the judges, "Good morning Mr, Mrs. and friends.. ", I suddenly forgot all of my speeches. The juries gave me another chance to start again, but I was too stressed out. So I walked out from the stage and I was really angry to myself. That was my shortest speech and I wrote evaluations about my quality. I memorized too much but not mastering the materials. If the topic was already familiar in my head, I won't memorize any of it, only imagine giving speech like telling stories. The other experiences were very annoying because I kept doing the wrong thing, especially on constructing the speech. I listed a lot of cases, so the speech was not simplified. Messages are not brought to the audiences. Everyone was in confusion, so did I. The main thing of giving speeches was a simple conclusion and it could be memorable at the moment. I told them three conclusions, so I always lose at the competitions. In total, I have experimented in total of ten speeches, lose nine times and won once. I felt really blessed because most of the champions have involved in the speech competitions more than twenty times. There are no words to stop trying again.
Favourite part: “In total, I have experimented with total of ten speeches, lost nine times and won once. I feel really blessed because most of the champions have been involved in speech competitions more than twenty times.” I like that you held this information back and revealed it at the end of your piece.
DeleteMatter arising: What does the sentence “There are no words to stop trying again” mean?
Vocabulary tip: “I suddenly forgot all of my speeches.” This needs to be “I suddenly forgot all of my words” (or “lines”). That sounds better.
Grammar edit: “I felt really blessed because most of the champions have involved in the speech competitions more than twenty times.” It should be “most of the champions have been involved in the speech competitions” because it is a passive construction. The verb “to involve” is very often used in a passive sentence. Examples: “We did this project and our parents weren’t involved” and “This is not right; I fon’t want to be involved.” Compare to these active forms: “We didn’t involve our parents in our project” and “Do not involve me in thsis because I don’t think it’s right.”
Tell us which instrument you would most like to take up professionally and what kind of musical career you would love to have.
ReplyDeleteIf I think about it, I really should have continued my piano lesson. Because if I had stayed two more years, I could legitimately have a certificate for teaching. Back in 2016, my mindset for piano is only a tedious thing to do. But now, I am eager to learn about the piano even further. But, if I had to choose an instrument to take up professionally, I think it will be the guitar. Although I was taking piano lessons for six years, I think that enough. I want to learn something new, something more challenging. And the guitar is the option for me. Even though I already knew the basics of playing the guitar, strumming chords and basic tapping. I want to play it like Angus Young (The Orginal AC/DC Guitarist). I want to be able to play a solo guitar part as he does, and I will show it off to all of my friends. I bet my friends are jealous because of it.
When it comes to a musical career, I want to be part of a band and perform in Coachella. I think it will be so cool if I did that. And also, if I had the opportunity to become part of a band. I want to be the main singer and also the guitarist. However, my singing skills aren't that great, so I need to learn more about that. Everybody knows Freddy Mercury, right?. I want to be just like him. The difference, he plays the piano and sings, but I wanted to play the guitar and sings. I can imagine singing to thousands of people in the center of GBK, and everybody is just shouting and cheering me on. I think that will become my most challenging bucket list of all.
Favourite part: I like the bit about Freddy Mercury and performing at GBK at the end.
DeleteMatter arising: You said: “If I think about it, I really should have continued my piano lessons.” However, later you said “Although I was taking piano lessons for six years, I think that was enough.” These two statements seem like they contradict each other.
Vocabulary tip: “I think that will become my most challenging bucket list of all.” I think you mean the “most challenging item on my bucket list”.
Grammar edit: “Because if I had stayed two more years, I could legitimately have a certificate for teaching.” A good habit to get into is, when you want to begin a sentence like this – referring back to the previous sentence – with the word “because” (which is OK in Indonesian), you should write “this is because” instead.
Tell us about your time in Singapore without mentioning the word "vomiting".
ReplyDeleteSingapore. The land where ships soar on buildings and half fish half lion statues become one of the symbols of a nation. I briefly mentioned those statues due to the fact that my nickname in high school was derived from them. The ironic thing is that I have only visited the Merlion Park only once. Moreover, along with many other destinations such as Sentosa Islands, the Botanical Gardens, and the Marina Bays Sands, I have never truly experienced those places that much.
Running to the bus stop at dawn, sipping soy milk at a cafe with my friends, and heading downstairs to the hawker centre inside my housing complex was how I remembered Singapore. I did not spend every weekend shopping at Orchard Road, I laze around my housing complex with my friends while cursing at the ungodly amount of assignments given by our middle school. I remembered haggling at the morning market with my family as well as pretending to be unwell when my father woke me up to do some morning jogging near the water reservoirs.
I also briefly mentioned about how I missed the transportation system there in my last post. I actually have a love-hate relationship with it. They were usually on time so I could plan my day based on the schedule but at the same time, if I miss a bus or the MRT, knowing the time I had to wait for the next one makes waiting seem longer. Sadly, Indonesia does not really have a good public transportation system so that fact transformed my hate into longing.
To be brief, my experience in Singapore for me personally is wonderful. I could experience the unique tolerance that the four main races in Singapore have for each other and not once did I get judged for being the minority there. Do check out what Singapore has to offer at www.visitsingapore.com but if you want to personally live there, all I can say is good luck.
Favourite part: I appreciate the length of this. It is a very good effort and intersting to read.
DeleteMatter arising: “I briefly mentioned those statues due to the fact that my nickname in high school was derived from them.” How can you mentionn this and then not tell us what that nickname was?
Vocabulary tip: “To be brief, my experience in Singapore for me personally is wonderful. I could experience the unique tolerance that the four main races in Singapore have for each other and not once did I get judged for being the minority there.” It would be nice to avoid the repetition of the word “experience”. If the first time it appears it is replaced with “time”, I think nothing is lost.
Grammar edit: “I did not spend every weekend shopping at Orchard Road, I laze around my housing complex with my friends while cursing at the ungodly amount of assignments given by our middle school.” One independent clause here ends with “Orchard Road” and another starts with “I lazed” (it needs to be past tense). You cannot join them with a comma. A semi colon would work. Or just a full stop. But then the link between the first and second sentence would be undeplayed. My solution would be this: ““I did not spend every weekend shopping at Orchard Road, instead, I lazed around my housing complex.” That works well. (By the way, I think “in” or “along” Orchard Road is better than “at”.)
Tell us about your plans for achieving balance in your life as both a housewife and businesswoman.
ReplyDeleteI should balance my work and family life by setting priorities for my career, family, and myself. I should separate works from family and family from works. Dividing my time for family and work isn't easy so I should plan the time that I would spend on works and family. Since I can't be home all day, I must find a daycare to take care of my children and my house. I'll spend time with my family as much as possible because it is important to create bonds and connections. It will make my children grow up in a household with strong communication and trust. I should also responsible for my work but if it gets stressful, I will not let it out on my family. So if I feel a lot of pressure on me, I'd just take time for myself like reading, catching up with a friend, and rest. In the future, it maybe not look as perfect as I picture it to be but I must appreciate myself.
Favourite part: “I should balance my work and family life by setting priorities for my career, family, and myself.” A good start, immediately demonstrating wisdom. In view of the task, it would have been easy to just talk about “setting priorities for my career and family”, but you have wisely added the category “myself”.
DeleteMatter arising: You need to make sure you find a partner who sees eye to eye with on all the things you have talked about.
Vocabulary tip: “It will make my children grow up in a household with strong communication and trust.” Perhaps a better choice of word, rather than “make”, would be “make sure” or “ensure” or maybe just “mean”.
Grammar edit: “Dividing my time for family and work isn't easy so I should plan the time that I would spend on works and family.”
[1] “Between” rather than “for” (this is very often the preposition that goes with the verb/gerund “divide” or “dividing”.
[2] “Work” in this context is an uncountable noun and means employment or professional activity. When “work” is countable (“Picasso’s works”) it means something different; it means artistic products like paintings, films, novel, poems etc.
Highschool Foolery
ReplyDeleteMy highschool experience was priceless, full of great unforgettable memories, "bittersweet" is probably the word that can describe highschool. Most people would say that the memorable part of highschool is the love and drama, but for me its the friendship. We experienced the hardship of being a freshman together, which actually paved the solidarity of our brotherhood. For me even, I think the hard times were the best times, you cant really imagine until you experience it yourself. Its like being underpressure creates a bond that makes us closer. I lost 4 friends in the sophomore year of highschool, they got expelled. Trust me when I say this, but they are not bad people.
Long story short, we had a problem with the juniors and it got physical. Things like this happenned to me and my friends as well when we are juniors, but this time the parents of a junior found out and pressured the school. So the school had to expel some blacksheeps, its not that they care. But I didnt cut contact with them and we are still closer than ever. After switching school, thankfully all of them got into good universities, started businesses, doing well and healthy. Of course I have many friends other than 4 of them, its just an interesting story I like to share about highschool. Yes, the mistakes (we) they did were immature and childish, but it shouldnt outshine that they actually are really decent friends. They are always there for you when you need them, honest to you and wants the best for you, because I think one mistake shouldnt define a person.
Favourite part: I like this: “…thankfully all of them got into good universities, started businesses, doing well and healthy” because this is what you were supposed to be writing about!
DeleteMatter arising: I think you misunderstood the task: “Tell us what your all friends from Al-Izhar Pondok Labu Highschool are doing now.” This is not about what they DID during their school years; it is about what they are doing now that they have (like you) graduated from school. You for, example, are now attending UGM.
Vocabulary tip: “We experienced the hardship of being a freshman together, which actually paved the solidarity of our brotherhood.” The word “paved” on its own is not what you are looking for. You are thinking thinking of the expression (idiom) “to pave the way” which means to prepare for the future or to be the first to do something.
Grammar edit: Compare yours to mine: “After switching school, thankfully all of them got into good universities, started businesses, doing well and healthy.” This: “After switching school, thankfully, all of them got into good universities, started businesses, and are doing well and are healthy.”
Tell us more about being raised in a multicultural Indonesian family.
ReplyDeleteAs mentioned in my introductory article, the roots of my family varies from different areas of Indonesia. In fact, all four of my biological grandparents originated from different native ethnicities. Throughout my childhood, I was raised in a house filled with many of my relatives, including my grandparents of my mother’s side. Both of the grandparents I lived with had roots originating from different areas of the Sumatran Island. Coincidentally enough, these two ethnicities that was around me are ethnicities that are considered very distinct by other Indonesian ethnic groups. My grandfather was Batak, an ethnic group known for their loud, expressive and aggressive intonation of speaking. Although stereotyping isn’t a habit to be accustomed of, my childhood experience has indeed proven some of those ‘accusations’ as I have experienced it frequently during the Batak gatherings my grandfather is often a part of.
My grandmother on the other hand was born and raised in Palembang, a city in south Sumatera. As my grandmother migrated to Jakarta together with a large amount of her relatives, it was indeed very obvious that I will be exposed to the culture of the South Sumatran ethnicity. Having such a diverse family had a massive positive impact towards my; as an example, the Batak and South Sumatran ethnicities differ from their religious beliefs and those cultural differences familiarize myself with social differences as I have lived my childhood around it.
Overall, I think that having such a diverse family is a blessing for me as it is such a great environment to base ourselves upon. The differences make us tolerate towards eachother as if we are not different at all.
Favourite part: The final two sentences. Excellent sentiments and good advice.
DeleteMatter arising: “My grandfather was Batak, an ethnic group known for their loud, expressive and aggressive intonation of speaking.” I wonder what influence your grandfather has had on you.
Vocabulary tip: “Although stereotyping isn’t a habit to be accustomed of…”. What you ought to write here is this: ‘Although stereotyping isn’t a habit to get accustomed to…”.
Grammar edit: “As my grandmother migrated to Jakarta together with a large amount of her relatives, it was indeed very obvious that I will be exposed to the culture of the South Sumatran ethnicity.” The word “will” here needs to be in its past tense form: “would”.
What I know about Ireland
ReplyDeleteWhat I know about Ireland is quite limited which is a bit embarrassing considering I find myself to be quite the historian. I will start in the early feudal era dating back to when Alfred the great was the most prominent figure in Wessex. Back then, Ireland was ruled by great clans and their chieftains in the midst of viking incursions towards the British isles. Dublin, the capital of Ireland was in fact settled by the vikings and quickly became the most prominent city for trade in the region. Moving on to the infamous case of the great potato famine, I actually learnt most of what transpired during the famine through a novel called Trinity by Leon Uris which I highly recommend to anyone interested. The famine wiped out as much as 25% of Ireland population at the time and what people don’t tend to realize is that the British could have severally lessened the impact of the famine had they decided to help, hence why the Irish aren’t particularly fond of them. Many people think of the Irish as devout Catholics which is funny since Ireland adopted a form of Insular Christianity in the early medieval to medieval era which is a combination of Celtic Paganism and Christianity. Speaking of Catholicism, this is precisely the reason why the north of Ireland split off from the main island. The British encouraged people to emigrate to ulster in order to gain a better foothold of the very famous and important dockyard of Belfast and many of the people that emigrated were Protestants. This part of Irish history is one of great tragedy which led to many bloody conflicts and the formation of radical groups such as the IRA in the present day. On to the more positive side of history, Ireland is home to many great poets and musically talented people and is considered to be a very rich culture. Many Irish people emigrated to other countries and became prominent figures there such as John F. Kennedy. The Titanic, also known as the “unsinkable ship”, was also built in Belfast which is a part of Northern Ireland today. This concludes most of what I know about the emerald isle, where the countryside is a thing of beauty and the people are fun and lively
Favourite part: You talked about the famine and the “Troubles” well, but it was nice when you then said: “On to the more positive side of history…” I also like this: ‘The countryside is a thing of beauty and the people are fun and lively.” True words!
DeleteMatter arising: To say “the north of Ireland split off from the main island” is OK, I suppose, but it might give the wrong impression. Britain used to control the whole of the island. Indeed, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland formerly used be the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland (between 1801 and 1922) but, in 1922, when Ireland was given its independence, the British retained control of the area in the north east called Ulster and the UK still controls it to this day. If we say X split off from Y, it works with Kosovo splitting off from Serbia (in 2008; a new country was formed) or South Sudan split off from Sudan (in 2011; a new country was formed). In the case of Ireland, Ulster actually remained as what it was rather than “splitting off”.
Vocabulary tip: Viking/Vikings and “Ulster” and “Emerald Isle” should all be capitalized.
Grammar edit: “What people don’t tend to realize is that the British could have severally (? … do you mean “severely” or…?) lessened the impact of the famine had they decided to help, hence why the Irish aren’t particularly fond of them.” I like the sentence construction “Had they decided…”. Nice touch.
I did mean to write severely. I also didn't know about Vikings being capitalized. Thanks for clarifying that, I will keep that in mind next time
DeleteThe day I became a Chelsea fan was during the 2nd leg of the semi-finals champions league. Chelsea managed to draw out in the first leg. All we need to do is score one goal. In the beginning, I thought we had in the bag after Michael Essien scored an impressive opening goal. All we need to do is to keep our defense tight. What came after that was a robbery made by the referee. Horrendous calls and unfair treatment made us furious. Anyone with half of the brain could agree that the referee wanted Barcelona to win. Unfortunately, they did win undeservedly.
ReplyDeleteIt took us nearly three years to get back into our glory days. We reached the final of the Champions League in Munich's backyard. I was terrified to see Bayern in the final. Their composition was an absolute monster. All these big names such as Robben, Ribery, Lahm, and Neuer have put a sour face on their way to the final. The game was on the edge that the first goal was scored in the 83rd minute by Muller. I felt my heartbeat beating hard and my nerve was on the edge. 4 minutes later, Drogba scored an equalizer which tied the game. It was all down to the penalty. Both teams were giving it everything to win. Peter Cech was the hero of the night with the save from Olic and Schweinsteiger. Finally, they have won it.
As far as now, we have not won the Champions League since the night in Munich, however, we have won the premier league title since then. I am optimistic about the future of Chelsea especially with their new signings of Kai Havertz, Timo Werner, and Hakim Ziyech.
Favourite part: “Anyone with half of a brain could agree that the referee wanted Barcelona to win.” Ouch! Who dares disgaree with you now, having heard this declaration? [Note my small edit to your sentence.]
DeleteMatter arising: What’s the future for Chelsea in the short term? An EPL title?
Vocabulary tip: “I thought we had in the bag after Michael Essien scored”. Actually, the expression is “to have it in the bag”. So it should be “I thought we had it in the bag after Michael Essien scored”. Instead of “it”, it could also be “the gane”.
Grammar edit: “All we need to do is score one goal.” You are talking about something in the past here but you are using the present tense. In fact, this can be OK. It’s called ‘the historical present’…
“In linguistics and rhetoric, the historical present or historic present, also called dramatic present or narrative present, is the employment of the present tense when narrating past events.” (Wiki)
However, all around this sentence, you are using the past tense, so it doesn’t work. You have to use it constantly for it to work. Here is an example I found on the web:
“It is a bright summer day in 1947. My father, a fat, funny man with beautiful eyes and a subversive wit, is trying to decide which of his eight children he will take with him to the county fair. My mother, of course, will not go. She is knocked out from getting most of us ready: I hold my neck stiff against the pressure of her knuckles as she hastily completes the braiding and the beribboning of my hair.”
The use of the the historical present creates drama and immediacy but it should not be overused.
“Tell us some stories about having a sister since the age of 11”
ReplyDeleteSince me and my older sister is only separated by two year we get along really well. We were almost insaparable, we were what you would call ‘the iconic duo’. We would pull pranks together and do other mischievous things. It’s fun and all but at some certain point of time we really wanted to have other company. So we begged to our parents to give us a little sister. Keep in mind that this is when I was a nine year old and was not aware about the responsibility I was about to gain. My parents went to an obgyn and started a vitro fertilization program. It was not until a year later that my mom was announced pregnant. But the sad thing is, by ten I’ve known the responsibility of an older sibling and don’t want to have a little sister anymore. Ofcourse I can’t say it to my parents because they would be devastated so I kept it to myself.
She is now six years old and is a rowdy little kid. She adores my older sister because she likes to play games and my other sister would facilitate her, but I wouldn't say she have the same feelings for me. We have a love-hate relationship. The minute I watch, she then wants to watch, when I’m using the laptop, she suddenly wants to use the laptop. Every once in a while we couldn’t stand each other. But at the end of the day, we are siblings and we compromise. If she wants to use the laptop I would occasionally give it to her, I would also let her borrow my phone here and there. She is a surely, a handful little kid.
correction! *she is surely, a handful little kid*
DeleteFavourite part: “Of course I can’t say it to my parents because they would be devastated so I kept it to myself.” Now I know you haven’t suggested to your parents that they read this blog!
DeleteMatter arising: “So we begged to our parents to give us a little sister.” Your parents had another child because YOU asked them to have one?
Vocabulary tip: insaparable = inseparable
Grammar edit: “She is surely, a handful little kid.” Actually, the word “handful” is a noun and NOT an adjective, which is the way you are treating it in your sentence. This works better: “The little kid is surely a handful!”
Different point:
The noun phrase “me and my older sister” is technically incorrect (although very commonly used, both in writing and in spoeken English) when it is the subject of the sentence. Instead it should be like this: “My older sister and I have been the victims of cruel parents.” Meanwhile. “me and my older sister” and “my older sister and me” are OK if they are the object of the sentence, like this: “Our parents have been cruel to me and my older sister.”
The musical genre of hip hop rap
ReplyDeleteExplaining the musical genre of hip hop might be difficult for me as for this whole time, I never really searched for the detailed definition and the history of where it came from or who invented it. Instead, I just listened to it as a source of enjoyment. However, the genre of hip hop rap was created in the United States by Inner city African American and Latino Americans in the 1970s. Most of the music genres that I listened to in my playlist is indeed hip hop rap. For me, the idea of people trying to rhyme to the fast-paced beat is quite fascinating. When listening to the genre, I feel that it creates an additional amount of energy in the form of motivation to do more. This may explain the reason why many people, for example, choose to turn on hip hop rap music when they are doing sports or workouts in the gym. However, the genre is not only characterized by being a fast-paced one, instead some of the rap songs, including the one I listened to, are using a slow beat that the rapper can rhyme to. This beat is created by DJs, beatboxers, or even a cappella without an accompaniment. Furthermore, I think that the genre of hip hop rap has allowed creative, young Black and Latino youth to create form of art which is based on their real life situation.
Favourite part: “Most of the music genres that I listened to in my playlist is indeed hip hop rap. For me, the idea of people trying to rhyme to the fast-paced beat is quite fascinating. When listening to the genre, I feel that it creates an additional amount of energy in the form of motivation to do more.” This is a clear explanation of what it is about rap that appeals to you.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder what you think about Indonesian rap.
Vocabulary tip: Well done with capitalizing “Black” and “Latino”. This is interesting:
Here is an explanation of the (news agency) Associated Press' policy towards capitalizing terms referring to ethnicity:
"AP’s style is now to capitalize Black in a racial, ethnic or cultural sense, conveying an essential and shared sense of history, identity and community among people who identify as Black, including those in the African diaspora and within Africa. The lowercase black is a color, not a person. AP style will continue to lowercase the term white in racial, ethnic and cultural senses.
We also now capitalize Indigenous in reference to original inhabitants of a place. These decisions align with long-standing capitalization of distinct racial and ethnic identifiers such as Latino, Asian American and Native American. Our discussions on style and language consider many points, including the need to be inclusive and respectful in our storytelling and the evolution of language.
After a review and period of consultation, we found, at this time, less support for capitalizing white. White people generally do not share the same history and culture, or the experience of being discriminated against because of skin color. In addition, AP is a global news organization and there is considerable disagreement, ambiguity and confusion about whom the term includes in much of the world."
From: https://apnews.com/article/9105661462
Grammar edit: “Most of the music genres that I listened to in my playlist is indeed hip hop rap.” [1] You are talking about your everyday habit, so “listened” should be “listen” (present tense). [2] After “most of the music genres” the verb needs to be “are” because of the plural “genres”. By contrast, if you started the sentence with “most of the music”, like this: “Most of the music that I listen to in my playlist is indeed hip hop rap”, then “is” is correct because the uncountable noun “music” is treated as singular.
Tell us about a few informational videos on YouTube that you have especially liked.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy various range of informational videos. Ranging from the petty stuff such as “is Pluto a planet?” to the quite ‘heavy’ stuff “What If the Electoral college tied?”. But the one topic I enjoyed the most is history. There is this one channel on YouTube called OverSimplified. He turns two hour long history programs and simplifies historic events into 10-20 minutes video while using an illustration as well. I think it suits you people who would like to watch history program while eating your lunch. Do keep in mind this video’s purposes are not to give a deep comprehension to an event, but it does give you the basic things you need to understand what happened in general. The last video that I watch was “The Russian Revolution” and it gave an idea of what the Russian went through.
What I enjoyed about this watching these types of videos are the process of learning something new, and connecting it to the previous knowledge that I have learned. Sometimes I even find myself watching it until past midnight and ended up on a subject as “The Best Way to Board a plane”. Knowing well that these sorts of facts won’t come up on a daily conversation. I just can’t find myself having a conversation about how Henry VIII killed two of his six wives.
Favourite part: You have a great closing line. “I just can’t find myself having a conversation about how Henry VIII killed two of his six wives.” The word “see” or “imagine” is probably better than “find”.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder if you will make videos yourself one day.
Vocabulary tip 1: “I enjoy various range of informational videos.” The two words “various” and “range” together like this sounds repetitive. Other similar word are “variety” and “diverse”. Note: “various” and “diverse” are adjectives, while “range” and “variety” are nouns. Compare yours to these alternatives: “I enjoy a range of informational videos.” “I enjoy various informational videos.” “I enjoy a variety of informational videos.” “I enjoy diverse informational videos.”
Vocabulary tip 2: “There is this one channel on YouTube called OverSimplified.” The words “this one” make this sentence sound very verbal or conversational and therefore doesn’t sound quite right in EWS writing. I suggest “a channel” should replace “this one channel”, although “one channel” would be OK. Basically, the insertion of the word “this” is what makes it sound coloquial.
Grammar edit: “He turns two-hour-long history programs and simplifies historic events into 10-20 minutes video”. [1] Note that I have corrected “two hour long” to “two-hour-long”. [2] “Video” should be plural. [3] It should be “10 to 20-minute videos”. Compare these two sentences and note the subtle (but important) difference: “He turns two hour long history programs and simplifies historic events into 10 to 20-minute videos” and “He turns two hour long history programs and simplifies historic events into videos that are 10-20 minutes long”.
Adel
ReplyDeleteTell us about the tourism facilities around Mount Lawu and in Karanganyar.
Mount Lawu is a huge stratovolcano straddling the border between East Java and Central Java, Indonesia. Mount Lawu is considered a high mountain compared to other mountains in Java. Therefore, It is not an amateur-friendly mountain. But, trust me it will worth the effort. The view from the top of the volcano is very wonderful, the clouds lie below You like a fluffy blanket. You should definitely add Mount Lawu to your bucket list.
There are a lot of facilities available for tourists. First, there are two starting base camps. You can choose between the one on the Central Java side called Cemoro Kandang, and the other on the East Java side called Cemoro Sewu. They are only 200 meters apart. We can find a hiking guide at the base camps called 'porter'. So, You don't have to worry if You've never climbed a mountain before. You can also rent hiking equipment, for example, tents, head-lamps, sleeping bags, hiking sticks, and even maps.
The climb is broken up into five sections. At the end of each section, you’ll see a small station. You can find traditional coffee shops or usually called 'warung' by the locals. You can order hot drinks and eat some basic, but tasty food. For example, instant noodles and wrapped rice. There’s even a simple wooden house where you can sleep if you haven’t brought your own tent. The stations are a few hours hike from each other. It will take around 7 hours from the starting base camp to the peak of the mountain. Meanwhile, if You are not interested in hiking, You can visit some amusement parks, coffee shops, restaurants, hotels, and tea plantations around.
Favourite part: I like the clarity and detail in the last paragraph. You cover the route, food and drinks, accommodation, how long it takes, and even alternative things to do, all in one concise paragraph. Excellent.
DeleteMatter arising: I wonder if there are any downsides to this tourism activity.
Vocabulary tip 1: Do not capitalize “you” unless it is the first word of a sentence. You did this five times. Note that I have just written “five” and didn’t write “You did this 5 times”.
Vocabulary tip 2: “Therefore, It is not an amateur-friendly mountain.” Your meaning here is perfectly understandable; however, a better way of expressing this idea might be as follows: “Therefore, hiking on this mountain is not really suitable for beginners.”
Grammar edit: “We can find a hiking guide at the base camps called 'porter'.” [1] Compare yours to mine: either “We can find a hiking guide at the base camps called a porter” or “We can find hiking guides at the base camps called porters.” I don’t think it’s necessary to write the word porters using inverted commas.